Keep it in your pants, famous idiots!

December 1, 2017

I’ve been following the sordid actions of both TV personalities, and public servants. My thought is is kind of like the burglar who isn’t sorry he stole, but he’s so sorry he got caught.

The TV personalities are really stupid and sick. Matt Lauer had the perfect job, a $100M estate, and a good reputation. Since Judge Roy Moore is a senatorial candidate giving the deep south a worse reputation than it already has, women have been coming forward, every male is at risk, even the innocent ones. Lauer is not out on his ass, will probably lose his amassed money paying off his victims, and wish he hadn’t installed that door lock that closed when he pressed a button on his desk.

Then there are our public servants. Moore banned from shopping malls for stalking teenage girls? Trying to arrange dates with 15-year olds? A well-respected MN senator caught with stupid pictures taken on a USO tour when the woman was asleep? Anthony Weiner, you don’t want to know. It’s unfortunate, but my paternal grandmother’s maiden name was Weiner.

Bottom line, you sleaze bags, Keep it in your pants. We don’t want to see you. We do want to see the Chief Executive with the small hands and oversized ties get busted. With Michael Flynn’s admission of his crime(s), it is only a matter of time. While you are waiting, why don’t you read our Constitution. It’s a pretty good read.


Urine in the office

November 28, 2017

I went into my office yesterday to get something my writing coach, Judy, needed. I shooed the brothers, Cowboy Joe and Frank, out of the office. I type in my chair, so I don’t have to crutch back and forth.

This morning, I got up to let the dog out, and I heard frantic meowing upstairs. Matthew had gotten stuck in the office. I close the door because I don’t want the cats in there. Bad idea.

Of course, Matthew, 16, can’t go all night without urinating. He has chronic renal failure, and gallons of stinky cat urine is a part of it.

You can imagine the smell. You can understand I couldn’t go in because I was in stocking feet. Somewhere in there is a pile of kitty turds, I’m sure. Since I can’t vacuum or anything, I took a can of Resolve carpet cleaner, stood at the doorway, and sprayed the entire carpet. Poor Kayla, she has no idea of what she is in for next Monday, my biweekly cleaning day.


Thank you notes

November 22, 2017

I enjoy Jimmy Fallon’s Friday Thank You Notes on the Tonight Show. I’d like to offer some of my own.

0-means nobody stepped up. Other digits reflect on how many. $ means I paid money.

++++ means extra thanks.

To my friend and Lyft driver, +++++ You were to take me to my first dr. visit after the hospital, but got a gig to drive to DIA. That’s how it works. I started driving again because of that. You also did some chores for me. $ ++++

To the friends that kept Ivy at their home for 10 days. $$$$++++

To the cards I got. 3

To the visitors who came to the hospital. 1 plus my Rabbi and his baby.

To the visitors who came to the house. 0

For the flowers I received. 0

For the stuffed frog and chicken soup. 9, but really 2. J & E They added in the relatives in CA and AZ, but it was from them. Same as when Earl died.

To the woman who walks Ivy every day, Rover.com-wonderful. $ ++++

To the man who fed the cats and changed the litter. ++++

To the mother and son who filled my fridge. 0 ++++

To my new next door neighbors who went to Safeway and Trader Joe’s (comfort food). $++++

To people who called and checked up on me. 3

To Dr. Kindsfater, joint replacement specialist, who really had my back during the pre-op time. You told me what should be done. You called, and visited. When Doogie came to tell me he was going to replace my hip, first I’d heard of that. I became a snarling, shrieking maniac in pre-op. Dr. K stepped in on his cell and told Doogie what to do, saying if the screws failed, he would replace the hip. BTW, hip replacements are not a big deal not in technique but in fact, you just have to follow the hip rules. I asked Dr. K to please take over management of my case because we have a 12-year history, and he said yes. He sent his PAs over every morning. When Doogie’s PA showed up the day after surgery, I kicked her smarmy ass out of the room.

That’s enough. I was talking to my friend, Linda, of sixty years, and she read me the riot act about the above. She said just because I step up to help, that doesn’t mean others will reciprocate. She is right, but I’m still stewing about it. Gotta put my big girl pants on and do what Earl always said, “Get it done and move on.” Am I still going to help others, you bet. People at their worst need help, even if it is just sitting quietly with them.


Trash Day

November 13, 2017

Well, Ivy the Golden doodle went out earlier at 5 this morning to pee. Usually, I go outside to watch her at night, then she sleeps in. I can’t do that right now, as I am on crutches. I assume she has peed.

So, an hour later, after sleeping outside until 6am, Ivy barked once to come in. She is a good dog about this, and my new neighbors are pleased. Ivy knows that when she comes in in the morning, it is time for snoozing on the bed with me and the cats. She loves Matthew, my tough guy, 16, and he really likes her kisses. He will jump on the bed if Ivy is there. I adore sleeping with Ivy on the bed, but I don’t trust her for all night because she chomps up pens and pencils. She sleeps in her crate. Besides, the bed is for the cats at night.

The rest of the day, no animals are allowed in the master. One time, Matt woofed up such a potent hairball as to take the finish off one of my mother’s old dressers. Because the cats also leave prodigious vomit on the bedspread and sheets, that the door is closed all day.

I was awake, the earliest since my accident at dog school on the 27th, so we all got up. I let Ivy out, and stumped around getting my breakkie. I never appreciated having an island before. I can just push stuff around. The best kitchen I had in the best house I had was in Lubbock, Texas, and it was a galley kitchen with tons of storage space.

I’m trying to do the “homework” my editor, Judy, gave me. She is out of town, so we won’t have our weekly meeting this week. She said to read my publisher’s book, Green-light Your Book by Brooke Warner of She Writes Press. Very good and informational book.

I started to get tired and snoozed a little. What do you know, Ivy went ballistic. Lovely little dog, big bark; still pees submissively when people come whom she doesn’t know. Waiting for her to outgrow that. Today is trash day, and also recycle day. I heard the recycle truck, which comes in the morning, and stumped downstairs thanks to Ivy’s keen watchfulness for trash trucks.

First, I put the little trash can out. On crutches, this is problematic. You take the bad leg’s foot, and make fit it so the container can roll. Hang on because it’s downhill, and try to advance the crutches without killing yourself. Next, do the large recycle can. My neighbor next door did this for me last week, but now that I can put a little (15%) weight on my surgicated hip, I tried it. Phyllis saw me fumbling around and asked if this was all my trash. I said all but what is in the kitchen trash can. She took care of it, and I was so proud of myself-I put in a new trash bag.

Phillis and Sharon are going to Trader Joe’s, and I gave them a list for me. Mostly comfort food. Sharon went to Safeway for me yesterday, and I gave her a check made out to Safeway with my signature. A blank check. Also gave her my Safeway card. Safeway didn’t like it, so this time, I’ll just pay her back. I did drive to my dr. appt. last Thursday, because I hadn’t used any pain medicine. But hauling groceries is whole another thing.

 


BONES R US

November 9, 2017

So how many of you have gone on Medicare the first of the month only to break your hip on the 27th? Yeah, baby, right here.

Ivy only had three supervised therapy dog visits to do to become certified to make people smile. I had her in agility class for something else to do. She is really good at it.

So, she had gone over the large upside down v shaped thing, and went to the tunnel. I went outside along side of her shouting, “Tunnel, Ivy, good girl!” when I tripped on the holder of the tunnel, fell on my L knee and landed hard on my left hip. Oy. I only have one untouched large bone left.

Fast forward to the next morning scheduled for surgery. I had talked to my world-famous joint replacement surgeon who had looked at the films on his cell phones. He said the Doctor on call could put 3 parallel pins across the femoral neck. Deja vu from 2004?

So, I get down to pre-op. The chaplain there was a friend of mine, and stayed with me the whole time.

Dr. Doogie Howser shows up. Standing at my back so I had to crane my neck over, he said, “Hi! I’m Dr. Howser. I’m here to replace your hip.” WHAT? When was that ever mentioned? I told him to go call Dr. Famous, who had replaced my R hip in ’05. In the meantime, Young Skippy comes up to me and says, “Hi! I’m your nurse anesthetist. I’m going to be doing your anesthesia today.” “No you are not, I requested an MD anesthesiologist.” Adele, the chaplain, told him to read the notes. He backed up and said to Doogie, “She won’t let me do the anesthesia, wa, wa, wa!”

Dr. Doogie had gotten ahold of Dr. Famous, and Dr. Famous had told him what to do, and that if the hip failed like the other one did, he’d replace it. Mission accomplished. I had an anesthesiologist with a sense of humor, whom I asked if he was a graduate of the Denver School of Nursing. Humor is the way I roll, not interacting with idiots who can’t read.

So now I have three pins in my L hip which will stay. I now have broken three of the 4 largest bones in the body. I saw Dr. Famous today, whom I thanked profusely for having my back before surgery with Doogie. We discussed going back on osteoporosis meds, just not the one that made me feel bad one day of the week. Twelve days after the accident, today, he said I could now put 15# of weight on my hip using my crutches. I will see him next month, and probably ditch the crutches. No PT for hips, just walking. Ivy will soon be able to have her three supervised therapy visits.

Last thought: A freshman med student can nail a hip. I’ve put a pin in the wing of a roadrunner. It’s not rocket science. I think most ortho docs think they are Jesus just because they are really good carpenters.


Some dog owners are really dumb

October 5, 2017

As I was pulling into the alley that goes to my garage today, a woman walking her dog stopped at a fire hydrant on my neighbor’s lawn.

I said, “Do you live in this house (I knew she didn’t,) and when she answered no, I told her that there is no dog peeing allowed on private property in this neighborhood, in fact, there are signs all over that say this, as well as keeping dogs leashed.

This woman, educated, I’m sure, replied that since there was a fire hydrant on the lawn, it was city property. No, the city has an easement to put the hydrant there.

Dogs off leash fry my brain cells. There is a couple with two Cavalier King Charles spaniels, beautiful and friendly dogs, that the gentleman insists that one can stay off leash. We live next to a huge natural area, a prairie that has never been disturbed. A hawk, eagle or owl looking for a meal, could swoop up one of these little dogs for a tasty treat, leaving these people grieving.

I’ve written several emails to the HOA, who send out email blasts about the littlest things. I’ve been ignored.

I had a yellow lawn, and put two signs up. There are still yellow spots in the grass. Oh well, ignore the rules and common sense.

I remember when Ivy was an 8# pup. On the first morning I had her, we went out at dawn for a walk (puppies get up early.) I heard an owl. As we walked along, it hooted again. I turned back and looked, and it was on my next-door neighbor’s roof. I clutched. Fortunately, the great horned owl flew off to the south. Ivy was safe. At least with a leash, I could have pulled her away.

Pet rules are important. They are not to be ignored.